(Source: hellray, via nalameowmeow)
I hope I made the right decision.
I guess it’s just the idea of him in a different state of consciousness.
So conflicted.
So he still wants to smoke again because it opens his mind to the world and also it’s a social thing. I’m so conflicted because I don’t know whether I’ll feel comfortable or not if he does. He said he wouldn’t because it makes me feel uncomfortable, and that he chooses me every time over it. I really don’t want him to start smoking again, I’m so afraid I’m going to loose him. I mean I did meet him when he was high and still fell for him, so I don’t know why exactly him being high would make me feel uncomfortable. I mean, I’ve only seen him high twice, and the second time he was acting different but it was because he was upset at someone for trying to manipulate me, so that makes sense. Also he said he wants to get high because it makes music sound good. I honestly don’t know. I can’t help it, but I’ve always had this view of people who got high as stoners and losers. And that view has stuck with me. I can’t help it. I guess it’s just I don’t want to see him like that, because I know how great he is when he’s not high. I suggested that tomorrow night he get high in front of me and I would let him know how it made me feel, but he hasn’t bought the stuff or gotten his vaporizer back because I told him I wasn’t sure. I’m so torn, I wish I was sure of how I felt. I mean, I feel pretty sure now, I don’t want him to. The idea makes me feel really uncomfortable, and I’m afraid I’m going to lose him. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I should just let him get high tomorrow and then see how it goes. Or maybe just not, and just have things go the way they are now, because it’s great :) Agh well I have to go finish math hw, hopefully I can sleep on it and decide tomorrow.
Have not tumbled in a while….
Why I Want the iPad…
-convenience
-sleek design
-note-taking
-reading
-magazines
-internet browsing
-Netflix
-photo-editing
-social networking
-Skype
-fitness tracker
-reference tool
Main Reasons I Would Use It:
-note-taking
-internet browsing
Which version to get?
Hmmm….well the iPad 2 is cheaper, but the new iPad (i think it has a dumb name because it’s going to cause a lot of confusion when later models are released) has a really beautiful display! Plus, well, it’s the newest edition, and it’d be nice to be up-to-date. But I mean, appearance wise (aside from the screen), it’s no different. I also don’t know what size I would need. I mean, I would have notes on it, but that shouldn’t take too much space since it’s just text. And I wouldn’t really use it for a camera (since I have my iPhone) or a music player (since I have my iPhone and laptop)…so I wouldn’t need to much space. And I don’t buy movies or TV shows either, I could just stream from Netflix. But at the same time I don’t like feeling limited…my iPhone is a 32GB, and I’ve already used almost all the space (only 6 GB left). Hmmm…..but I don’t think I would really need that much space for the iPad? But it sucks since you can’t add more space onto it. I mean, I could definitely fill it up if I had the space. But maybe I need to learn how to work with limits. Also, to get 3G or not? I mean, it’s already a lot more expensive. But maybe that way I would use it more? Hmmmm….it would be really nice to have that feature, but then again, it would cost an additional $20-$30 per month (over $240 a year), and I can’t afford that. Hmmmm….maybe I should just opt for the iPad 2 white 16 GB with only Wi-Fi? Writing this helped so much! I need to work with my limits and I think I’d mainly use it for school and internet-browsing anyways. Yay
